The Local Taphouse 31/08/11

"Happy 30th Review B.E.E.R.S!"

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Michael, George, Dommo, Richo, Patty
Price: For a great and varied selection of boutique tap beers you'd expect to pay more than you do. It is very affordable. Pints range from $9.50-$17, or you can get a tasting paddle of 5 beers for $15.
Location: 184 Carlisle St. in St. Kilda, near the corner of Chapel St.
Distance: Deep in the dirty south side of the Yarra territory. 45 min on public transport.
Ambiance: Soft lighting for such a large venue- retains feeling of intimacy and still has a local pub vibe.
Character: Great old vintage pub building, almost like an old Victorian 'Gentleman's Club'.
Decor: Minimal outside: an old BBQ, an open fireplace and a few creeper plants is all that is need to accentuate the rustic character of the building. Inside has a lot of vintage wooden furniture pieces (sideboards, tables, chairs) and brass furnishings that highlight the historic nature of the venue.
Comfort: Nice big couches downstairs along with a number of other different seating options. Outside beer garden needs 2 extra heaters to be completely comfortable and perhaps a few different seating options rather than trying to fit in as many dining tables as possible.
Patrons: Successfully blends upper class, middle-aged St. Kilda yuppies with a younger more casual drinking crowd. Large Wednesday night crowd, could imagine it would get very busy on the weekends and in the warmer weather.
Staff: Very knowledgeable and helpful. They know their stuff about beer and aren't afraid to educate the masses on the intricacies and wonders of beer. Can get a tasting paddle on their recommendation, or on your own choice and they will order the selection in the sequence that compliments your palate the most. Great beer connoisseurs.
Selection: 20 different beers on tap, with a constant monthly rotation focussing on seasonal and unique beers sourced locally and internationally. Mecca for beer drinkers, with the option to either taste a couple of new and exciting beers or have a session with an old favourite.
Outdoor: Large outdoor dining area on the second level. No designated smoking area which means you can inhale smoke whilst trying to enjoy your meal, a let down on an otherwise nice outdoor area.
Specials: Hold regular beer events such as information, testing and specialty beer sessions. Is in affiliation with an onsite specialty bottle shop to source all the fantastic beers you sample in the venue allowing you to take the experience home with you. Great food menu, that is reasonably priced, also have a special tapas menu to compliment your beer selections.
L.S.R.: No ambient music to speak of. Have live music downstairs, but disappointing that there is no background tunes throughout the rest of the place. Lighting level is optimal but is let down by lack of music.
Top Suggestion: Amp up the comfort levels- i.e. ambient music, more outdoor heaters, varied seating options upstairs.
Amenities: Classy, clean but upstairs is quite small. Nice wooden finishes in the bathrooms.
Field Notes: George wants a greater selection of ciders on tap- only one tap cider that doesn't match the awesomeness of the beer selections. Food was very nice with a particular special mention for the frittes.
The $15 tasting paddle of beers that you would be hard press to find anywhere else is a definite highlight.
Memorable Quotes: "How often...and stop me if I'm getting too personal...How often do you have to update your rip?" P.O'C.
"You'd have to wash all your sheets after a night out." CLG
"Do you take cold meats?" G.K.
"Don't allow people with laptops to come here. Seriously, it's killing me." P.O'C.

Arbitrary Score: 90
The amazingly varied tap selection of unique beers coupled with the local pub vibe makes for a great venue to bask in beery contentment.

Collingwood World 24/08/11

"Page 44 B.E.E.R.S"

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Michael, George, Ned, Mike
Price: $6 Carlton schooner, $8 premium bottles, cocktails $12-$17
Location: 97 Smith St Collingwood, near Gertrude
Distance: 14 min walk
Ambiance: Warm and welcoming. Sensual soul music and candles on the tables set the mood and make it a great room even on a quiet night.
Character: Plenty of personality with a large feature wall of the 1966 Melways map of Collingwood. Great use of raw materials with a quirky flip on the usual - the ceiling is lined with old timber floorboards. Brick walls and a concrete slab floor finish it off.
Decor: Tasteful lampshades create a soft tone for what could have been a more cavernous space. Lazily spinning fans somehow add a smoky dive bar feel while plenty of tea lights create some intimacy. A shrub on the bar is never a bad addition.
Comfort: Plush couches, long tables, side tables and stools at the bar all mean you've got plenty of options. Radiators and a fireplace mean the temperature is spot-on. Actually maybe a little too warm as you might find yourself dozing off on the couch after a beer or two.
Patrons: N/A, very quiet mid-week.
Staff: Friendly and cheerful with a good sense of humour, wasn't at all put out by an accidental broken glass. Able to recommend a beer with conviction and mix a custom cocktail if you're intrepid enough to ask.
Selection: A rather small but decent selection of bottled beer but only Carlton on tap. A tasty looking cocktail menu. No food options.
Outdoor: N/A
Specials: Complementary nuts were a nice touch
LSR: Optimum for the size of the room. Enough lighting to fill the space and open it up while the great music selection had enough volume to appreciate without being overpowering.
Amenities: Neat & clean with the creative anti-graffiti measure of being covered with chalkboard paint. A bucket of chalk by the sink means anyone can express themselves (or their footy team's finals prospects).
Field notes: It's hard to judge without any other patrons but we all feel it would be a great spot to check out on the weekend. Nice to get a view out the window to Smith St down below.
Top suggestion: A few more tap beer options would be a great addition to just Carlton Draught
Memorable quotes: "Have you ever used a poof to root on?" - MLG, after discussing the furniture
"Great for hosing down the blood at the end of the night, Collingwood style" - Ned, on the concrete slab floor.

Arbitrary Score: 80
A very promising spot still in its early stages (open about a year). Come with some friends and relax in comfort with some classy cocktails and local pride. Had it been busier would have gotten a higher score - certainly worth a revisit on a Friday or Saturday night!

Wesley Anne 17/08/11

"Church B.E.E.R.S"

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Michael, George, Jaffa, Paige, Dom, Emma
Price: $9 Boags, $9.60 Coopers. Pretty standard.
Location: 250 High St Northcote - in the thick of it.
Distance: 15 min tram ride.
Ambience: Candles and rough stone walls have a lot of charm. Feels like a medieval tavern. The hushed tones of the chapel meets the rustic charm of the tin roof wooden ceiling beams.
Character: Has a very strong historic character (in fact the building was originally constructed in 1869 as a Methodist church). Iron chandeliers lit by candles softly light the bar while the raw stone walls, minimal decorations and huge vaulted ceiling help to open up the space.
Decor: The character of the building speaks for itself without the need for too much decoration.
Comfort: The bar is quite big and takes up a large part of the room meaning most of the tables are squashed in around it. However we had no problem sitting the lot of us in one of the 'confessional' style booths and the low walls provide a lot of privacy.
Patrons: An older more 'Northcote' crowd . A bit more subdued and wordly, enjoying a quite beer or glass of red. City cool people.
Staff: A bit of a debated area - some thought they were helpful while others found them a little indifferent.
Selection: Limited. Some decent but 'safe' craft options. Semi-boutique. Very impressed with the Estrella!
Outdoor: A very large outdoor area complete with a roaring fireplace. Lots of tables to sit at and some greenery and quirky decorations to finish it off. A definite must-visit for the summer months. On-street seating out the front as well.
Specials: $10 Boags jugs before 6pm. Band room is host to popular local gigs most nights of the week. Very fast food service as well (maybe suspiciously fast?)
LSR: Soft music in the background keeps the focus on the chat and the ambience created by the room rather than smothering it with volume. A tasteful tweak of the dimmer switch at 9.30 kept the lighting spot on as the night went on! Candles also add a classy touch.
Amenities: Basic, nothing too special. Plenty of graffiti but clean enough.
Top suggestion: Rejig the bar and table layout to open up the room a bit more and celebrate the awesome historic space that it is.
Field notes: Doesn't seem like a huge amount of effort has gone into the actual bar and making the place a unique experience but the building makes up for it with oodles of charm. Could be better but it has a lot going for it and the punters keep coming back for more. Definite local hangout.

Arbitrary Score: 75
A big old religious institution sees a new life as one of High St's drinking institutions. While it lacks some of the sophistication of other venues, the charm of the building and generous beer garden make this one a High St favourite.

Grace Darling 10/08/11

"Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum B.E.E.R.S."

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Michael, Ivanka, George, Richo, Louise, Phoebe.

Price: $8 standard pints but gourmet craft beers aren't too pricey. Quite acceptable.

Location: 114 Smith St.

Distance: 10 min walk.

Ambiance: Great mid-week vibe going on with lots of different and varied groups. Warm lighting- tea lights, candles and open-fire place create welcoming and intimate atmosphere.

Character: Classic old pub style. Great bluestone exterior. Separate outdoor dining area is really cool, can eat under the stars, while still feeling like you are inside.
The place has great great materiality- floorboards, timber, natural flame as lighting, etc. adds a feeling of honesty.

Decor: Bit too cluttered. Too many different themes going on. They have a funky nautical theme that works, but it is overpowered by lots of other themes.

Comfort: Very high, specially for winter with the fireplace.. There are so many different options- you can dine under the stars, lounge on intimate couches with a date, or sit a high tables with friends.

Patrons: Trendy indie Collingwood, but still welcoming of other types.

Staff: Very 'cool', but without the attitude. They are 'trend-ly'!

Selection: Fantastic. Great selection of craft beers on tap as well as a wide range of unique bottled beers. It is refreshing to see a pub that has a standard, cheap tap beer that isn't Carlton or Boags Draught (it's Coopers Lager).
Also has a great selection of spirits and cocktails.

Outdoor: Covered outdoor dining area as mentioned before, but also has a happening on-street drinking area.

Specials: Has Big Buck Hunter!! As well as a pool table. Great mix of traditional pub and trendy hotspot. Has a great food menu. Special deals are $12 home-made pies and 1/2 price selected jugs on Tuesdays. There is a band room upstairs and a rave-cave downstairs.

L.S.R. (New category!! Light to Sound Ratio): Great use of gradient lighting. It is quite light at the bar, but still has dark corners and nooks. Music is loud enough to enjoy, but still soft enough to enjoy conversation between friends.

Amenities: Very basic. Doesn't match the rest of the place.

Top Suggestion: Unify the decor. Declutter a bit- stick to one theme (the nautical one!)

Field Notes: As soon as you walk in it has a great welcoming vibe. Knew this place would score well as soon as stepped inside.

Memorable Quotes: "I feel like I'm on Magic Mushrooms!" MLG (talking about the decor)
"It's a rum-elution" I.B.
"This is like a 'trim-the-beard-Collingwood' kinda place" B.H.

"Dark corners so people can dry-hump" Phoebe

Arbitrary Score: 87

Whether you are out for dining, drinking, dating or getting rowdy, the Grace has you covered on all bases.

Town Hall Hotel 03/08/11

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Ivanka, Mike, Louise
Price: Expensive for the craft beers yet they still have a $7.50 Carlton pint.
Location: 166 Johnston St, corner with Napier.
Distance: 9min walk
Ambience: Semi-formal dining & drinking. We're feeling a little out of place in tshirts and being under 25.
Character: New Fitzroy / South Yarra. A bit of southside creeping through to the north. A little too glitzy for our liking.
Decor: Some nice timber tables and stools in the front bar area. Tasteful painted walls with some different red feature walls in the back dining rooms. Lighting is simple but nice enough. The bar setup could be a little more visually interesting.
Comfort: Good comfort. Plenty of different options for couples, groups and even large private functions in a downstairs cellar area with a massive 15 seat table. Stools in the front bar or seats everywhere else. Standing seems a little awkward in the semi-formal setting.
Patrons: Middle-aged Fitzroy yuppies. Its a dining gastro-pub but not much of a drinking atmosphere.
Staff: Checked Ivanka's ID. Massive rookie error. A little snooty and unwelcoming.
Selection: Some nice boutique options that fit with the high end pub experience.
Outdoor: N/A
Specials: Food menu looks impressive and well priced!
Amenities: 'Upmarket community hall'. Felt insincere. Potential hip-rub at the urinal - never great. Flowers in the ladies.
Top suggestion: Create a more informal drinking area eg change the front bar or find space for a beer garden or some on-street seating.
Field notes: Music is fairly lame - 'chillout sessions' cheesy deep house vibes. Some great table options for private functions.

Arbitrary Score: 63
Come here for some great dining but don't expect to come in and enjoy a casual drink in your tshirt and jeans. A slightly older dining crowd and somewhat wooden bar service left us a little cold but this venue could have more charm when filled up on a weekend. High ceilings and spacious seating would be great for a leisurely lunch on a sunny day.

Bar Nancy 27/07/11

"Branching out B.E.E.R.S"

Attendess: Cam, Ben, Sarah, Michael, Tom B, Tom H
Price: Average priced which is nice for a cocktail bar.
Location: 61 High St Northcote near Westgarth St.
Distance: 10min tram ride
Obscurity: Nothing is really that obscure with chairs out the front
Ambience: To begin with it was empty except for us but we still felt welcome and comfortable. Good tunes and lighting.
Character: A bit hit and miss, not a particularly interesting building.
Decor: The bar set up is extravagant & beautiful. Some great pieces like wall mirrors and some original artworks. Fireplaces in the back room are brilliant.
Comfort: Some great different options. Sit at the bar or grab a table in the front, a booth around the fire in the back room or a spot outside in the back courtyard. Fine to come here by yourself, with a big group or anything in between.
Patrons: Not really busy enough to make any assumptions.
Staff: Great - friendly, helpful and good for a chat.
Selection: No taps but a nice selection of bottled beers & an extensive wine and cocktail list.
Outdoor: Back area with some tables, a little foliage and nice vibe. Shade cloth for the sunny days. Also some on street seating to soak up a bit of High St atmosphere.
Specials: Selling point is the wine and cocktails but no specials as such.
Amenities: Not great, a bit like a half renovated house toilet and an oddly large room. Hole in the wall and patchy paintwork doesn't help.
Top suggestion: Get a tap beer.
Field notes: Tables are trippy - like two halves that slot together but is actually just one solid top. Open fireplaces are a big plus for the winter months. Some very tasty food options - highly recommended.
Memorable quotes: "Quiet wine bar for yuppies" Tom A (about a minute after arriving)
"Explosive dumplings!" Sarah

Arbitrary Score: 76
Could easily crack the 80s with a few minor adjustments. Definitely will come back another time!
A great local spot with a relaxed atmosphere and great selection of drinks and snacks.

Black Cat 20/07/11

"The Boys B.E.E.R.S"

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Richo, Michael, Eddy, Tom
Price: $8 pint of Montieth's. Good price.
Location: 252 Brunswick St south of Johnston.
Distance: 11 min walk
Obscurity: Not obscure but dark and subdued enough to avoid any non-locals
Ambience: A DJ every night helps create a funky and relaxed atmosphere. Although could  be quieter to improve the LSR (light to sound ratio). Definite couple-y vibe with all the couches.
Character: Very high. Nice textural elements from the bare brick walls and wood pieces behind the bar while a huge wall length mirror opens up the space.
Decor: It's 'happening'. A tiny bit more effort on lighting would go a long way. Indoor potted trees are a cool feature. Diggin the quirky feature wall behind the bar.
Comfort: Very comfortable for small groups however anything over 4 becomes a bit awkward with the layout of the seating. Although snag one of the larger outdoor tables and you're set! The layout of the couches in the space could be finessed a little more but is overall very comfy.
Patrons: Old school Fitzroy. Reminiscent of the Brunswick St of old. Casual, cool and relaxed.
Staff: Engaging, almost sarcastic. Friendly but maybe a bit far? Michael was a little thrown out.
Selection: Only two types of Monteith's on tap. A nice enough staple beer and quite cheap. More variety of bottled beers which are also decently priced.
Outdoor: Has a very different vibe to inside. Another great relaxed space and great for larger groups. Heaters and a planted screen give you some protection from the elements and traffic noise.
Specials: DJs on every night of the week. Open decks for the up & coming deejay.
Amenities: Scummy unisex toilets.
Top suggestion: Rethink / update inside furniture layout to include more variety of spaces and seating options.
Field notes: Discussion of new term "LSR" which has been informally brought up for some time now. Music is great and really helps the atmosphere.
Memorable quotes: "The back wall is trying to play jenga with itself" RW
"Definitely too many trendy moustaches. Check behind the bar!" MLG
"The Perseverance is just like the moth to the fucking flame." BH

Arbitrary score: 78
Great place for a catch up with a friend or two or a relaxed first date. Sink yourself into a comfy couch and enjoy a drink to some funky tunes.

The Kodiak Club 13/07/11

"Whiskey B.E.E.R.S."

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Michael, Jamie

Price: Very expensive. $9 pint in plastic cup.

Location: City side of Johnston St at 272 Brunswick St.

Distance: 12 min walk

Obscurity: If you pull your head out of your arse (which is were it likely is if you're on Brunswick St on a weekend) you'll easily notice it.

Ambiance: Good acoustics, great music choice warm lighting.

Character: Has a ski lodge vibe, nice complementing shades of timber. It is quite unique, definitely feels like a whiskey bar. Different to normal bars and pubs.

Decor: Not overdone, but very interesting pieces that highlight uniqueness. Bar is a shrine to bourbon, great variety of different bottles that are accessed by one of those old-school library ladders on wheels.

Comfort: Different levels to break up the room. Awesome intimate table for small groups, comfortable stools, but the bench cushions are slippery and frustrating to sit on.

Patrons: Quite young. Can definitely still see the weekend Brunswick St crowd coming in.

Staff: Very professional and friendly. It was busy enough, but they are not stressed, know their stuff.

Selection: Only one beer on tap. Have an interesting collection of relatively unheard of bottled beers, both imported and Australian. But this bar is all about the Bourbon. Fantastic selection if that's your thing.

Outdoor: N/A

Amenities: Really nice journey to the toilets. Upstairs area feels like a house, very welcoming. The actual toilets are adequate enough.

Specials: Heard great things about the food menu. Looks like a great function room upstairs.

Top Suggestion: For such a classy place there has to be glass for the tap beer.

Field Notes: Heated debate about what each category means. May need to clarify some of the categories as there is a large portion of cross-over and confusion about what goes where.
Special mention goes to the massive plumber's crack on the table next to us that cracked us up.

Memorable Quotes: "Bartender is a dead-ringer for Simon Pegg!" B.H.

"I got 5 cheeseburgers on the way home from your party last week." MLG

Arbitrary Score: 77
Has a great vibe but is heavily let down by the plastic beer cups, expensive price and lack of selection of tap beers.

Mrs. Parma's 29/06/11

"Parma B.E.E.R.S."

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Michael, Dom, Jess, George, Chops and interstate guest Alanna.

Price: Expensive. From $8.40 for Carlton Draught pint up to $7.50 for a pot of a boutique Victorian IPA.

Distance: 15 min tram ride.

Location: Top, north-east end of the city at 25 Little Bourke St. Near Parliament Station.

Obscurity: Somewhat semi-obscure. Kind of, but not really.

Ambiance: Very tie-loosener. Corporate, post work crowd. Tense vibe. Staf

f were on edge and that carried on through the crowd.

Character: Very R.S.L. Belongs in N.S.W. Looks like it's a sports bar that belongs in Crown Casino or a Hard Rock Cafe.

Decor: Too many different, clashing shades of timber. Corporate office modular ceiling tiles and glaring downlights make you feel like you are still at work. Michael hates the sunken stained glass skylight.

Comfort: Oscillating temperatures, makes it hard to ma

intain a comfortable body temp. Constantly taking jackets on and off.

Selection: Great selection. The saving grace of the establishment. Great focus on Victorian craft beers. Have rotating monthly specials on tap.

Patrons: Corporate crowd here for a mad after dinner rush, then all left around 9pm, until we were the only ones left in the place. Made it quite awkward and we felt like the staff were pressuring us to leave.

Staff: Mostly edgy and snappy, but some were helpful and nice.

Outdoor: Has large windows that are opened in the summer to create a street dining experience. N/A in winter.

Amenities: Toilet has character. Motivational quotes written on the wall to get you through your toilet difficulties.

Specials: Specialises in gourmet parmas and Victorian boutique craft beers. Has secret happy hours for members.

Field Notes: Not the best parmas in town, and quite pricey. Paying for the toppings rather than the quality of the chicken schnitzel. Very stingy on the sides, only get one communal bowl of chips and another of salad for the table which were the quantity normally served for one or two people. Definitely not getting your money's worth.
The quality of the beer selection justifies having drinking area rather than purely focusing on dining.

Memorable Quotes: "I'm going to queef my hair." CLG

"He's going to be a barista barrister...don't worry I'm leaving soon." B.H.

"She must be smoking a crack pipe in the toilet." B.H.

Arbitrary Score: 60
Great concept, but failed to deliver the quality experience. Would definitely work if in a better thought out venue with a wider variety of clientele.

Little Creatures 22/06/11

"Lonely B.E.E.R.S"

Attendees: Ben and Ivanka

Price: Meals $16-30 (pricey but not overpriced), $9.50 pints

Location: 222 Brunswick St Fitzroy

Distance: 13 min walk

Obscurity: None, a shining beacon of beery goodness. A local institution.

Ambiance: A big beer hall with lots of quieter, intimate spaces rather than one large area. Non-intimidating and quite relaxed.

Character: Homely/Industrial. Great job retaining original character of the space.

Decor: Loungeroom meets warehouse with a touch of wanky rustic. Lots of charm with lots of timber, bookshelves, fireplace and beer-bottle chandeliers (chandebeers).

Comfort: Lots of seating options for anything from one person to large groups. Plan ahead on the weekend unless you like waiting for a table though!

Selection: Very limited but great quality - don't bother if you're not a beer drinker

Patrons: Slightly older and subdued but always a refreshingly diverse crowd that fills the place up.

Staff: Attentive but not annoying. Despite being really busy, service was great. Some definite talent as well.

Beer garden: n/a

Amenities: Clean and spacious, everything you need.

Specials: n/a

Field notes: Bikes available for use. Some tasty jazzy disco beats playing at a great sound/light ratio. Little Creatures angel's foot looks like a penis when laser etched on wood. No really.

Memorable quotes: "I think the idea is to crack them open and spread 'em" - BH "It's my life philosophy!" - IB

"Sticky fingers?" - BH (after eating donuts) "We've all been there!" - IB

"These donuts just absorbed all my bodily fluids" - BH

Arbitrary Score: 81

More dining hall than beer hall with a strong food focus. Great design and service make for an easygoing and enjoyable experience. Book in advance on the weekend - it's in high demand despite it's easygoing appearance.