Gasometer 30/03/11

Wednesday 30/03/11

Venue: Gasometer
Attendees: Ben, Cam, George, Ivanka, Harris, Tommy

Price: $9.50 for pint of boutique beers. Expensive!
Location: 484 Smith St, Corner of Alexandra Ave. Very main roads
Distance: <5 mins walk
Obscurity: None
Ambience: Lighting too dim gives it a dingy feel. Good alternative tunes. Overall subdued vibe, could do with being a bit more lively.
Character: Amazing. Band room is one of the best in Melbourne. Unique quality without being too overbearing. Train theme is really cool.
Decor: Hanging baskets are tacky. Luggage rack above booths is amazing. English pub feeling with a twist. Nailed the train station look.
Comfort: lots of intimate hideyholes, breaks up the space and allows for group or one on one interaction. Option of booths is really cool. Comfort of ordering at bar is super low.
Patron Attitude: Cool indie kids, but not the cunts that go to Click Click.
Patron Hotness: Hot Collingwood indie crowd (“bitches” B.H.)
Beer garden: Open air bandroom with smoking on balcony= awesome. But no outdoor chill area.
Selection: Great obscure selection, but still has Boag’s for a cheapy.
Specials: Wicked bandroom, food menu looks awesome and kitchen is open till 11pm.
Service: Issue of bar circulation. Generally good staff that know their shit, but when busy could lead to long wait times.
Staff Hotness: Older, hipster typical hospos.
Amenities: Awesome, trendy, clean.

Field Notes: Great potential. Looks like a good place to party. Love to come back on a Fri or Sat. Non-pretentious good time feel for a good night out. Speed cameras intermittently flashing through window adds to the ambience. Could lead to an awesome drinking game called, “Flash shot of the shot flash” I.B.

Memorable Quotes: “The fucking cloak rack!” B.H.
“Even the chips sound fucking awesome!” B.H.
“I hooked up with a short wog” B.H.

Arbitrary Score=76
Best potential of the lot so far. Must come back on the weekend.

The Categories

B.E.E.R.S is much more than just drinking, its an exploration into the unknown. These weekly outings are kept track of with a carefully constructed system of categories, each with their own subtleties and variations.

-Price ($ for a pint?)
-Location (literally, which area is it located in)
-Distance (from Wellington Manor)
-Obscurity (from completely obvious to walking through a sewer to get there)
-Ambience/Vibe (the atmosphere created by the venue and those interacting within it)
-Character (the architectural qualities of the venue)
-Decor (the interior design and decoration)
-Comfort (seating and other options)
-Beer Garden/Outdoor setting
-Amenities (the porcelain chamber)
-Patron Attitude (uptight? relaxed? friendly? cunty? etc)
-Patron Hotness
-Service
-Staff Hotness
-Beer Selection/Variety
-Weekly specials, bandroom, events
-Field Notes
-Memorable Quotes
-Arbitrary Score (0-100)

Naked For Satan 23/03/11

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Michael, Fae, Ivanka, Richo, Jos, (Tim & Claude)
Price: Charging pint prices for schooners. Poor form.
Location: 285 Brunswick St, Fitzroy
Distance: 10min walk - a decent stroll away.
Obscurity: None. Right in the heart of one of the most popular nightlife strips.
Ambiance: Atmoshphere "in a can". Trying way to hard and annoying lounge house music doesn't fit.
Character: Manufactured. Bimbos copy.
Decor: Quite good individually - great pieces such as a wall of back lit glass bottles. But together it seems a little cluttered and tryhard.
Comfort: Good provision of different spaces - small dark corners for a date or large round tables and counters for groups. Lots of options.
Patron hotness: Hit and miss. "I'm really rating the black chicks though" BH
Patron attitude: Subdued but easygoing & welcoming on a Wednesday.
Service: Amazing. Table service = win. Chatty bar staff as well.
Staff hotness: Dudes doing alright. Girls not.
Amenities: 5 star. An event in itself. Worthy of an award
Specials: Pintxos (Spanish snacks) - take from underneath the bar and pay at the end based on how many toothpicks you have (honesty system). So as cheap as you want ($2 each normally). 50c each on Monday. Bimbos style infused vodkas.
Outdoor area: No

Arbitrary Score: 70
Trying too hard to be a lighter, trendier version of Bimbos & Lucky Coq. Amazing amenities. A good option amongst some much scummier Brunswick St alternatives. Potential for a pretty wanky weekend crowd (hard to avoid on B'wick St these days!)

The Gem 16/03/11

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Michael, George, Ned
Price: Average.
Location: 289 Wellington St Collingwood - a locals pub.
Distance: 3 roper (directly across the street)
Obscurity: Easily found but not in a popular area
Ambience: A bit cunty. Encourages disconnection between groups. Quality live music is a plus.
Character: Unique character but not exactly good. Mismatched shit feels somehow like a crappy ski lodge. A bit creepy?
Patron attitude: Reserved, non-welcoming.
Patron hotness: On par with the decor.
Specials: Very good, live music and cheap meals. Wednesday is roo night - cheap kangaroo steak.
Outdoor area: One of the best outdoor seating. Quiet enough not to be shouting.
Service: Unfriendly, rushed and disheveled. Lost souls and ex-junkie types.
Staff hotness: No. See above
Amenities: Clean but a bit run down
Comfort: Reasonable, but seating is "not conductive to positive public space" BH
Memorable quotes: "mumble mumble mumble Charlton Heston!" MLG

Arbitrary Score: 57
Holding on for dear life to its redeeming qualities (music & menu) to save it from utter mediocrity. It has a heart of stone to the outsider but a passionate and dedicated regular following. Worth a look for those searching for an oddball surrogate family just around the corner.

The Fox 02/03/11

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Michael, George
Price: $8.50 boutique beer - decent
Location: 351 Wellington St Collingwood. Not a popular area but, well known amongst locals.
Distance: Boom! Right up the street. 2 min walk
Obscurity: Not obscure but a local crowd. Doesn't attract people from other areas.
Ambiance: Super busy but still maintains easiness and relaxed feeling. Keeps the fuckwits away. Good tunes. Lights were dimmed at 9.45pm
Character: Traditional but fresh and well-presented. Not local dingy. Trendy, pinball & pool table.
Comfort: Climate control could be better. Caters for all needs in seating.
Decor: Awesome display of vintage beer bottles & old advertising. Distinctly local.
Patron attitude: Older crowd. Nice & friendly, respectful and 'mutual amicability'. No cunts allowed.
Patron hotness: Scruffy, older crowd. Very casual loungeroom attire.
Beer garden: Small rooftop area great for a summer evening (didn't see on the night due to rain)
Selection: Amazing - fantastic True South Cider was a winner. Rotating monthly tap - special.
Specials: Live music, food specials, great meals.
Service: Flustered tonight due to it being quite busy. Long wait for food. But otherwise very friendly & helpful.
Staff hotness: No
Amenities: Average/basic
Field notes: No eftpos minimum is handy. Not a party pub, but great for group outings. Best cider ever!
Michael presented his Vice President speech and was warmly welcomed into his new official position in B.E.E.R.S

Arbitrary score: 86
A new local favourite right on our doorstep.

The Rainbow Hotel 23/02/11

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Michael, Nick, Richo, Jos
Price: Quite reasonable for boutique beers.
Location: 27 St David St, Fitzroy - off Brunswick St
Distance: 10-15min walk
Ambience: Very quiet, lacking vibe due to lack of patrons midweek
Character: Loving the deck. Outdoor pool table - good use of space. Simple, basic but effective.
Patron attitude, patron hottness: N/A (cold night!)
Beer garden: Awesome, top marks. Everything you would want. "Sociable" placement of TV - you could watch if wanted but discourages large crowding around.
Decor: Too clean cut - gentrified.
Selection: Top notch, local boutique beers on tap with a great selection of bottled.
Obscurity: Local hero. Bit of an aussie battler.
Specials: Famous for its music.
Service: Good, firendly - knew stuff about beer.
Staff hotness: Cute, but not great.
Amenities: Cool toilets. Exposed bluestone. Good artwork in shitter.
Comfort: So many options. All comfort. Good backrests in outdoor timber booths - cushions get bonus points. Nice purple velour.
Notes: Some new B.E.E.R.S additions - "Cheers B.E.E.R.S!" introduction to proceedings. New comfort category - thanks to Nick for the innovation.
Memorable quotes: "If you don't think you were a fuckwit when you were 18, you still are"

Arbitrary score: 78
A legendary live music venue that has been revamped and cleaned up into a very respectable pub. Lost some of the grime but more than makes up for it with its classy new feel

Prudence 16/02/11

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Michael, George, Bec, Rachel
Price: Bit steep. $8.50 pint Carlton
Location: Victoria St Nth Melbourne. Not close to much but the market, but close enough. "Arse end of the city". 368 Victoria St, North Melbourne
Distance: Not walking distance. Easy ride or a complicated tram journey
Ambience: Very cool. Records playing behind the bar, good music, good atmosphere.
Character: Chilled. Weird opshop shit. Pretty cool. Worth noting - Iggy Pop record on the wall in his sober period = awesome.
Patron attitude: Isolated booths, intimate. Kick off your shoes and read a book or have a quiet catch up with some old friends.
Patron hotness: Older indie crowd. Average.
Beer garden: Totally enclosed, doesn't really feel like outside but nice surrounds.
Decor: Very quirky and alternative - eclectic. Good feel
Selection: Above standard - good selection of bottled beer.
Obscurity: Right on a main road but easily overlooked due to not being in a nightlife area.
Specials/events: None
Service: Very friendly and helpful.
Hotness of staff: Very trendy and stylish (but not hot)
Amenities: Pretty cool
Notes: Minimum eftpos $20 (kinda shit)

Arbitrary score: 78
Great use of limited space to create an intimate environment. Good for a quiet drink, catch up, date.

Zink Bar/Restaurant 09/02/11

As Cameron was away for this week, he decided to check out one of the local drinking spots in Cronulla and see how the B.E.E.R.S. formula held up interstate. Needless to say it failed in comparision with its Melbourne counterparts.


Attendees: Cam
Price: Bottled beer only, $6.50 Corona - pretty cheap.
Location: Right above Cronulla Beach. Nice view of the park and beach. 1 McDonald St Cronulla
Distance: NSW, so fucking far!
Ambience: Very sydneyside beach crowd, older rich bogans, try hard upper class feel. Not a great vibe.
Character: Nil
Patron attitude: See above, older rich bogans (but 6.30pm thursday might not be best time)
Patron hotness: Not great while I was here, however average Cronulla people are quite hot so it may be better here on the weekend.
Decor: Modern beachfront but looks cheapish.
Specials: $20 buckets of beer (4), cheap cocktails friday, live music sunday. Does food
Outdoor area: Balcony overlooking beach & park
Service: Good (but it wasn't busy)
Staff hotness: Quite good.

Overall score: 31
Way too tacky Sydney! Need that Melbourne vibe!


An average Zink Bar punter, courtesy of the Cronulla Sharks fan forum:
JADE
Age: 17
Occupation: Student
Years as a cheerleader: 1
Favourite restaurant: Zink Bar
Favourite TV show: Sex and the City
Favourite Footballer: Craig Wing
Perfect evening: Going out for dinner with the girls, then going out dancing ... to come back and slumber
In 10 years time ... Scuba diving of the coast of the Caribbean

Caz Reitop's Dirty Secrets 09/02/11

Attendees: Ben, Jim
Price: $7.50 Monteith's Golden Lager (schooner)
Location: 80 Smith St Collingwood, near Gertrude St
Ambience/vibe/character: Underground cruisy bar, easy to walk right past without noticing
Attitude of patrons: Broad range, easygoing. Jim feels welcome and not out of place
Hotness of patrons: Very low key, many more blokes than girls.
Beer garden/outdoor: On-street tables, basement room/bandroom
Decor: Antiquated/homely/chilled. Could be your loungeroom.
Selection: Limited but excellent
Obscurity: Hidden in plain sight.
Specials: $10 cocktails wed-fri 5-7pm, sun 5-7pm $10 jugs. Wednesday night comedy
Service: Fast and friendly (though they weren't exactly busy!)
Hotness of staff: Very cute and chatty
Field notes: Wednesday crowd comes and goes for the downstairs comedy. great on-street seating on Smith St. Extra marks for the cave-like basement. Live music drifts across from others venues, has a good nightlife ambience.

Overall score: 67
A very pleasant evening, needs a couple more patrons midweek to get a good vibe going. Potentially a great spot for an intimate setting on the weekend

The Union Club 02/02/11

Price: Slightly lower than average - pint of Carlton $7.20
Location: Tucked up a side street but still close to Smith St, 164 Gore St Fitzroy
Ambience: Subdued, downstairs pretty cool
Character: Good, funky
Patron attitude: Chilled, multiple large group dynamics
Patron hotness: Average
Beer garden: Two levels but no bar. Upstairs deck pretty nice but was debated
Decor: Good downstairs, traditional 'local pubby'. Upstairs pretty bare, but coolly rustic
Selection: Bog standard
Obscurity: Slightly tucked away but a local hero.
Specials/events: No but reasonably priced
Service: Pretty shit mix. Barman was a bit of a surly smartarse
Staff hotness: 'Raggedy assed mofos' (a hot bussy though)
Amenities: Bad

Overall score: 70
Gastro pub that could be great in winter or spring for a cosy night. Need an air conditioner. Was lagging in the high 60s but bumped up to 70 due to its redeeming features.