Grace Darling 10/08/11

"Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum B.E.E.R.S."

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Michael, Ivanka, George, Richo, Louise, Phoebe.

Price: $8 standard pints but gourmet craft beers aren't too pricey. Quite acceptable.

Location: 114 Smith St.

Distance: 10 min walk.

Ambiance: Great mid-week vibe going on with lots of different and varied groups. Warm lighting- tea lights, candles and open-fire place create welcoming and intimate atmosphere.

Character: Classic old pub style. Great bluestone exterior. Separate outdoor dining area is really cool, can eat under the stars, while still feeling like you are inside.
The place has great great materiality- floorboards, timber, natural flame as lighting, etc. adds a feeling of honesty.

Decor: Bit too cluttered. Too many different themes going on. They have a funky nautical theme that works, but it is overpowered by lots of other themes.

Comfort: Very high, specially for winter with the fireplace.. There are so many different options- you can dine under the stars, lounge on intimate couches with a date, or sit a high tables with friends.

Patrons: Trendy indie Collingwood, but still welcoming of other types.

Staff: Very 'cool', but without the attitude. They are 'trend-ly'!

Selection: Fantastic. Great selection of craft beers on tap as well as a wide range of unique bottled beers. It is refreshing to see a pub that has a standard, cheap tap beer that isn't Carlton or Boags Draught (it's Coopers Lager).
Also has a great selection of spirits and cocktails.

Outdoor: Covered outdoor dining area as mentioned before, but also has a happening on-street drinking area.

Specials: Has Big Buck Hunter!! As well as a pool table. Great mix of traditional pub and trendy hotspot. Has a great food menu. Special deals are $12 home-made pies and 1/2 price selected jugs on Tuesdays. There is a band room upstairs and a rave-cave downstairs.

L.S.R. (New category!! Light to Sound Ratio): Great use of gradient lighting. It is quite light at the bar, but still has dark corners and nooks. Music is loud enough to enjoy, but still soft enough to enjoy conversation between friends.

Amenities: Very basic. Doesn't match the rest of the place.

Top Suggestion: Unify the decor. Declutter a bit- stick to one theme (the nautical one!)

Field Notes: As soon as you walk in it has a great welcoming vibe. Knew this place would score well as soon as stepped inside.

Memorable Quotes: "I feel like I'm on Magic Mushrooms!" MLG (talking about the decor)
"It's a rum-elution" I.B.
"This is like a 'trim-the-beard-Collingwood' kinda place" B.H.

"Dark corners so people can dry-hump" Phoebe

Arbitrary Score: 87

Whether you are out for dining, drinking, dating or getting rowdy, the Grace has you covered on all bases.

Town Hall Hotel 03/08/11

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Ivanka, Mike, Louise
Price: Expensive for the craft beers yet they still have a $7.50 Carlton pint.
Location: 166 Johnston St, corner with Napier.
Distance: 9min walk
Ambience: Semi-formal dining & drinking. We're feeling a little out of place in tshirts and being under 25.
Character: New Fitzroy / South Yarra. A bit of southside creeping through to the north. A little too glitzy for our liking.
Decor: Some nice timber tables and stools in the front bar area. Tasteful painted walls with some different red feature walls in the back dining rooms. Lighting is simple but nice enough. The bar setup could be a little more visually interesting.
Comfort: Good comfort. Plenty of different options for couples, groups and even large private functions in a downstairs cellar area with a massive 15 seat table. Stools in the front bar or seats everywhere else. Standing seems a little awkward in the semi-formal setting.
Patrons: Middle-aged Fitzroy yuppies. Its a dining gastro-pub but not much of a drinking atmosphere.
Staff: Checked Ivanka's ID. Massive rookie error. A little snooty and unwelcoming.
Selection: Some nice boutique options that fit with the high end pub experience.
Outdoor: N/A
Specials: Food menu looks impressive and well priced!
Amenities: 'Upmarket community hall'. Felt insincere. Potential hip-rub at the urinal - never great. Flowers in the ladies.
Top suggestion: Create a more informal drinking area eg change the front bar or find space for a beer garden or some on-street seating.
Field notes: Music is fairly lame - 'chillout sessions' cheesy deep house vibes. Some great table options for private functions.

Arbitrary Score: 63
Come here for some great dining but don't expect to come in and enjoy a casual drink in your tshirt and jeans. A slightly older dining crowd and somewhat wooden bar service left us a little cold but this venue could have more charm when filled up on a weekend. High ceilings and spacious seating would be great for a leisurely lunch on a sunny day.

Bar Nancy 27/07/11

"Branching out B.E.E.R.S"

Attendess: Cam, Ben, Sarah, Michael, Tom B, Tom H
Price: Average priced which is nice for a cocktail bar.
Location: 61 High St Northcote near Westgarth St.
Distance: 10min tram ride
Obscurity: Nothing is really that obscure with chairs out the front
Ambience: To begin with it was empty except for us but we still felt welcome and comfortable. Good tunes and lighting.
Character: A bit hit and miss, not a particularly interesting building.
Decor: The bar set up is extravagant & beautiful. Some great pieces like wall mirrors and some original artworks. Fireplaces in the back room are brilliant.
Comfort: Some great different options. Sit at the bar or grab a table in the front, a booth around the fire in the back room or a spot outside in the back courtyard. Fine to come here by yourself, with a big group or anything in between.
Patrons: Not really busy enough to make any assumptions.
Staff: Great - friendly, helpful and good for a chat.
Selection: No taps but a nice selection of bottled beers & an extensive wine and cocktail list.
Outdoor: Back area with some tables, a little foliage and nice vibe. Shade cloth for the sunny days. Also some on street seating to soak up a bit of High St atmosphere.
Specials: Selling point is the wine and cocktails but no specials as such.
Amenities: Not great, a bit like a half renovated house toilet and an oddly large room. Hole in the wall and patchy paintwork doesn't help.
Top suggestion: Get a tap beer.
Field notes: Tables are trippy - like two halves that slot together but is actually just one solid top. Open fireplaces are a big plus for the winter months. Some very tasty food options - highly recommended.
Memorable quotes: "Quiet wine bar for yuppies" Tom A (about a minute after arriving)
"Explosive dumplings!" Sarah

Arbitrary Score: 76
Could easily crack the 80s with a few minor adjustments. Definitely will come back another time!
A great local spot with a relaxed atmosphere and great selection of drinks and snacks.

Black Cat 20/07/11

"The Boys B.E.E.R.S"

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Richo, Michael, Eddy, Tom
Price: $8 pint of Montieth's. Good price.
Location: 252 Brunswick St south of Johnston.
Distance: 11 min walk
Obscurity: Not obscure but dark and subdued enough to avoid any non-locals
Ambience: A DJ every night helps create a funky and relaxed atmosphere. Although could  be quieter to improve the LSR (light to sound ratio). Definite couple-y vibe with all the couches.
Character: Very high. Nice textural elements from the bare brick walls and wood pieces behind the bar while a huge wall length mirror opens up the space.
Decor: It's 'happening'. A tiny bit more effort on lighting would go a long way. Indoor potted trees are a cool feature. Diggin the quirky feature wall behind the bar.
Comfort: Very comfortable for small groups however anything over 4 becomes a bit awkward with the layout of the seating. Although snag one of the larger outdoor tables and you're set! The layout of the couches in the space could be finessed a little more but is overall very comfy.
Patrons: Old school Fitzroy. Reminiscent of the Brunswick St of old. Casual, cool and relaxed.
Staff: Engaging, almost sarcastic. Friendly but maybe a bit far? Michael was a little thrown out.
Selection: Only two types of Monteith's on tap. A nice enough staple beer and quite cheap. More variety of bottled beers which are also decently priced.
Outdoor: Has a very different vibe to inside. Another great relaxed space and great for larger groups. Heaters and a planted screen give you some protection from the elements and traffic noise.
Specials: DJs on every night of the week. Open decks for the up & coming deejay.
Amenities: Scummy unisex toilets.
Top suggestion: Rethink / update inside furniture layout to include more variety of spaces and seating options.
Field notes: Discussion of new term "LSR" which has been informally brought up for some time now. Music is great and really helps the atmosphere.
Memorable quotes: "The back wall is trying to play jenga with itself" RW
"Definitely too many trendy moustaches. Check behind the bar!" MLG
"The Perseverance is just like the moth to the fucking flame." BH

Arbitrary score: 78
Great place for a catch up with a friend or two or a relaxed first date. Sink yourself into a comfy couch and enjoy a drink to some funky tunes.

The Kodiak Club 13/07/11

"Whiskey B.E.E.R.S."

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Michael, Jamie

Price: Very expensive. $9 pint in plastic cup.

Location: City side of Johnston St at 272 Brunswick St.

Distance: 12 min walk

Obscurity: If you pull your head out of your arse (which is were it likely is if you're on Brunswick St on a weekend) you'll easily notice it.

Ambiance: Good acoustics, great music choice warm lighting.

Character: Has a ski lodge vibe, nice complementing shades of timber. It is quite unique, definitely feels like a whiskey bar. Different to normal bars and pubs.

Decor: Not overdone, but very interesting pieces that highlight uniqueness. Bar is a shrine to bourbon, great variety of different bottles that are accessed by one of those old-school library ladders on wheels.

Comfort: Different levels to break up the room. Awesome intimate table for small groups, comfortable stools, but the bench cushions are slippery and frustrating to sit on.

Patrons: Quite young. Can definitely still see the weekend Brunswick St crowd coming in.

Staff: Very professional and friendly. It was busy enough, but they are not stressed, know their stuff.

Selection: Only one beer on tap. Have an interesting collection of relatively unheard of bottled beers, both imported and Australian. But this bar is all about the Bourbon. Fantastic selection if that's your thing.

Outdoor: N/A

Amenities: Really nice journey to the toilets. Upstairs area feels like a house, very welcoming. The actual toilets are adequate enough.

Specials: Heard great things about the food menu. Looks like a great function room upstairs.

Top Suggestion: For such a classy place there has to be glass for the tap beer.

Field Notes: Heated debate about what each category means. May need to clarify some of the categories as there is a large portion of cross-over and confusion about what goes where.
Special mention goes to the massive plumber's crack on the table next to us that cracked us up.

Memorable Quotes: "Bartender is a dead-ringer for Simon Pegg!" B.H.

"I got 5 cheeseburgers on the way home from your party last week." MLG

Arbitrary Score: 77
Has a great vibe but is heavily let down by the plastic beer cups, expensive price and lack of selection of tap beers.

Mrs. Parma's 29/06/11

"Parma B.E.E.R.S."

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Michael, Dom, Jess, George, Chops and interstate guest Alanna.

Price: Expensive. From $8.40 for Carlton Draught pint up to $7.50 for a pot of a boutique Victorian IPA.

Distance: 15 min tram ride.

Location: Top, north-east end of the city at 25 Little Bourke St. Near Parliament Station.

Obscurity: Somewhat semi-obscure. Kind of, but not really.

Ambiance: Very tie-loosener. Corporate, post work crowd. Tense vibe. Staf

f were on edge and that carried on through the crowd.

Character: Very R.S.L. Belongs in N.S.W. Looks like it's a sports bar that belongs in Crown Casino or a Hard Rock Cafe.

Decor: Too many different, clashing shades of timber. Corporate office modular ceiling tiles and glaring downlights make you feel like you are still at work. Michael hates the sunken stained glass skylight.

Comfort: Oscillating temperatures, makes it hard to ma

intain a comfortable body temp. Constantly taking jackets on and off.

Selection: Great selection. The saving grace of the establishment. Great focus on Victorian craft beers. Have rotating monthly specials on tap.

Patrons: Corporate crowd here for a mad after dinner rush, then all left around 9pm, until we were the only ones left in the place. Made it quite awkward and we felt like the staff were pressuring us to leave.

Staff: Mostly edgy and snappy, but some were helpful and nice.

Outdoor: Has large windows that are opened in the summer to create a street dining experience. N/A in winter.

Amenities: Toilet has character. Motivational quotes written on the wall to get you through your toilet difficulties.

Specials: Specialises in gourmet parmas and Victorian boutique craft beers. Has secret happy hours for members.

Field Notes: Not the best parmas in town, and quite pricey. Paying for the toppings rather than the quality of the chicken schnitzel. Very stingy on the sides, only get one communal bowl of chips and another of salad for the table which were the quantity normally served for one or two people. Definitely not getting your money's worth.
The quality of the beer selection justifies having drinking area rather than purely focusing on dining.

Memorable Quotes: "I'm going to queef my hair." CLG

"He's going to be a barista barrister...don't worry I'm leaving soon." B.H.

"She must be smoking a crack pipe in the toilet." B.H.

Arbitrary Score: 60
Great concept, but failed to deliver the quality experience. Would definitely work if in a better thought out venue with a wider variety of clientele.

Little Creatures 22/06/11

"Lonely B.E.E.R.S"

Attendees: Ben and Ivanka

Price: Meals $16-30 (pricey but not overpriced), $9.50 pints

Location: 222 Brunswick St Fitzroy

Distance: 13 min walk

Obscurity: None, a shining beacon of beery goodness. A local institution.

Ambiance: A big beer hall with lots of quieter, intimate spaces rather than one large area. Non-intimidating and quite relaxed.

Character: Homely/Industrial. Great job retaining original character of the space.

Decor: Loungeroom meets warehouse with a touch of wanky rustic. Lots of charm with lots of timber, bookshelves, fireplace and beer-bottle chandeliers (chandebeers).

Comfort: Lots of seating options for anything from one person to large groups. Plan ahead on the weekend unless you like waiting for a table though!

Selection: Very limited but great quality - don't bother if you're not a beer drinker

Patrons: Slightly older and subdued but always a refreshingly diverse crowd that fills the place up.

Staff: Attentive but not annoying. Despite being really busy, service was great. Some definite talent as well.

Beer garden: n/a

Amenities: Clean and spacious, everything you need.

Specials: n/a

Field notes: Bikes available for use. Some tasty jazzy disco beats playing at a great sound/light ratio. Little Creatures angel's foot looks like a penis when laser etched on wood. No really.

Memorable quotes: "I think the idea is to crack them open and spread 'em" - BH "It's my life philosophy!" - IB

"Sticky fingers?" - BH (after eating donuts) "We've all been there!" - IB

"These donuts just absorbed all my bodily fluids" - BH

Arbitrary Score: 81

More dining hall than beer hall with a strong food focus. Great design and service make for an easygoing and enjoyable experience. Book in advance on the weekend - it's in high demand despite it's easygoing appearance.

The Rose 15/06/11

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Michael, Richo, Mike, Rose.

Price: $8.40 James Squire Amber Ale pint, &7.80 Carlton pint. Good price, quite cheap.

Distance: 5 min walk

Location: 406 Napier St, corner with Rose St. Backstreets of Fitzroy, between Brunswick and Smith streets.

Obscurity: Not on any main street so quite unknown unless you're a local.

Ambiance: Ultimate local pub. Easy going. Definitely has a bit of a "yeah mate" blokey vibe. Approach-ably manly!

Character: Verging on a classy vintage pub feel without actually getting there. Traditional "Old Fitzroy" pub, none of this new commercialised Fitzroyalty. True grit.

Decor: Has an amazing rotating vintage beer sign clock. There is a blend between classic beer paraphernalia and old school sport memorabilia.

Comfort: Nice and warm, but the air isn't stale. Perfect winter pub temperature. Pretty comfy seating, and is quite nice to sit at the bar.l

Selection: Basic. Have quite a few options for beers on tap, but no obscure surprises.

Patrons: Manly, but not macho. Doesn't have a pokie/TAB crowd but very sport focused yet still welcoming.

Staff: Switched on, know their shit, yet very friendly. Local feel, as in the bar staff joke around and give you shit (or rather give Cam shit).

Outdoor Area: Limited street seating but nothing special.

Amenities: Urinals are too close together for comfort.

Specials: Wide range of food and multiple T.Vs to satisfy your sporting pub needs.

Field Notes: Rose enjoys her namesake, Richo enjoys his immortalisation on the wall. Bricks and carpet have a nanna-ish aura.
Everyone enjoyed the fact that the bar staff gave Cam some fashion tips.

Memorable Quotes: "Your headband is really shit" MLG, "Yeah, it really is" Barchick
"You don't want to be rubbing hips while taking a piss" MLG

Arbitrary Score: 68
Not trying to be anything special. A solid, warm pub that you could spend the day watching the footy in.

99 Problems 08/06/11

"Cold B.E.E.R.S"

Attendees: Cam, Ben, Michael

Price: The highs & the lows - $9 Tiger pint, $3 Tecate can

Location: 31 Johnston St between Smith and Wellington

Distance: 5 min walk

Obscurity: Very obscure. Quite dark and easy to walk past even with a large front window. Lucky we had a good tip off to find it!

Ambience: very keeeewl. A close, intimate atmosphere. Great light-to-sound ratio. Having a table filled with beer cans also has a certain "je ne sais quoi" to it. Adds to the hip underground vibe.

Character: Full of characters! The small room has a unique and personable character and creates social interactions. However the good use of space means it doesn't feel too cramped.

Decor: The nordic glacial mountain feature wall is a winner, straight out of a 70s National Geographic. Bare light globes have some extremely funky filaments. Besides, lamp shades are so 2010..

Comfort: A little close but this is all part of the charm. After a few beers you'll appreciate the forced intimacy between different groups.

Selection: Tiger on tap doesn't really fit the feel. Only 2 options on tap but a decent selection of bottles. Go the Tecate if you don't want to stick out. Also a good selection of wine and spirits.

Patrons: Very kewl but in a more subdued, Collingwood way. Some serious talent as well, in amongst some impressively ironic facial growth.
Staff: Enthusiastic and friendly, they look like they want to be there. Love her tattoos.

Outdoor: A covered laneway area with a forklift pallet doing duties as landscape decoration. A little too cold out tonight but a good simple area to hang out.

Amenities: Unisex toilets are a point of divided opinion amongst the B.E.E.R.S executives. Artwork in the toilets runs with the mountain scene. Good conversation starter for those waiting in line moments.

Specials: $3 Tecate cans!

Field notes: Guy on toilet door looks like Gollum according to Michael. Hipster tolerant people can expect a great time. Some chilled hip hop playing is a nice touch.

Memorable quotes: "An elephant's head? Just get some fucking tea lights!" BH (talking about the Carlton Club)

"I don't know if I was in there or not" BH

Arbitrary score: 80

After breaking through the indie-wanker crust you can have a great time. Very good local spot with a relaxed and comfortable atmosphere.

Terminus Hotel 01/06/11

"Gastro B.E.E.R.S."

Attendees: Ben, Cam, Michael, Dom, Paige, Jaffa, Jazza, Ned, Myles, Laura.
Notable Absences: Ivanka and George (again)

Price: Meals $20-40, roughly $10 pints - above average but not overpriced
Location: 392 Queen's Parade, no man's land between Fitzroy and Northcote
Distance: 15-20 walk
Obscurity: Looks like a dive bar from outside, but quite classy inside and very packed. Very unassuming.
Ambiance: Light to sound ratio good. Lot of energy because it is so crowded. There is a level of privacy because it is so busy and noisy, everyone focusing on their own tables.

Character: Basic. Same, same. Quite a forgettable room.

Decor: Kangaroo painting is quite quirky. Fake candle chandelier lights add classiness. High bench tables with stools instead of intimate round dining tables. This leads to a mess hall feeling which adds to the high energy. Stain glass windows are really nice and regal. The decor makes the most of minimal attributes.

Comfort: Very noisy. Good temperature, cosy winter pub feel. Two levels of dining tables makes it a bit awkward, especially if you were sitting at the low table and having everyone around you sitting above.

Selection: Focus on Victorian boutique microbreweries on tap and a great selection of bottled craft beers. Gave taste-testers and explanations of the beers.

Patrons: Relaxed middle aged crowd. Lots of large groups. Local people. Zero mingling between groups. Wide ranging and all encompassing, no one would stand out here.

Staff: Friendly, insightful. Warned me before buying a $13 pint that I would not have liked- very helpful! Taste-testers are a big plus.

Beer Garden/Outdoor: On-street seating is quite large, would be nice in summer. Little smokers room out back.

Amenities: Poorly designed, there was a lot of backsplash from the sink. Not great. Reminiscent of its former dive tendencies.

Specials: Known for being a gastro pub. Has great food and a great selection of steaks. Also if you're in the tipping comp and tip 8 you get a free meal of anything you want.

Field Notes: Menu is a bit over-priced, bit more than expected. But food and beer selection very good.
Michael was very edgy and aggressive tonight!

Memorable Quotes: "I swear all stouts smell like soy sauce." B.H.
"If Fitzroy is the left cheek and Northcote the right, this must be the butt hole." B.H.

"I'm toey-er than a Roman sandal." MLG

"You Melbourne Uni kids that don't pull up your pants." MLG

"Michael jsut needs to go out and bottle someone." B.H.

"This used to be the place Jazza and I would buy 6 packs of Woodies when we were 15." MLG

"It's mayo with jizz in it." MLG

Arbitrary Score: 74

Great winter to pub to get a decent feed, but a few areas lowered its overall score.